hurts

kk so my life is realy good right now my parents ya they have there problems but thats them but tonight me and my firend arryn went for a walk to the park and she just got back from
guatemala and she has chnaged so much its like god has touched her heart and made her a nw person but anyways with my story so me and arryn are realy close we consider eachother sister right so we were swing and just talking adout chnage and god and stuff when she satrted to ask me adout why would god put us on this eath and why would h put us through pain just liek questions like that and if you dont me these last couple of months i have bee realy trying to uderstand god and and were i stand with him and my self and it wa sliek a me flash back cause its like thats what i ask tennille and so i was tellign her what tennille told me adout how god has a plan for us and stuff right and it realy got me thinking adou tmy own life and i started to cry i dident no why and liek i dident understand cause like i felt like i new god but i dont no if i was just telling my slf that or what so i was just crying and good thing it was dark so that i dident haave to explain why i was crying but we just kept talking adout it and she just dident understand and like i felt like that way to and than i satrted to think how stong is my relationship with god in the first place like i no im not in the same spot i was before but how much i have i real chnaged like i no god is there and that he die for us and everything but i feel like i need more and liek that im nto giveing enuf and so trust me today wasent my day i was haveing the worst day i spazed on so many people mostly my auny and like i just couldent take it so i was trying to get someone close to me to do somthing for me cause i just wanted what they had but i new i shouldent but i was just not have a good day and i juts miss my sister so much and i was just stressed and i have a bg test the next day and ya it wasent good and like i new thats when i should off runed to go and just let him hav it but i dident and like i just no that i was more but to m i just dont no how to get it lik i just feel like its time for me to grow stronger but i also no i dont no if i am ready to give him my all an everthing i am and have cause part off me wants to stay in my past and just do that but than part of my is so thirsty for god but all i no right now it i just need to pray nad give it to him and just stop trying to stop my self from crying cause its time i just give it all to him


i no this is all scatered and stuff and that i cant spell ad im sorry but i kinda just let it go and just wrote

alysha

church

kk so i no this is realy short and junk but i just wanted to say that i ove this song and i no i nee fto post adout vancover but i am so burned out its crazy and i have school tomorow sso i no i will be up all night if i right a blog i just wanted to say i love this song i stole it from the church in abby lol heres the lericas

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just
Chorus:At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled Chorus:In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness(2x’s)Chorus

sleep were are you

kk so im in vancover with the denbrabers and im haveing so much funn and junk but the nights i would say have to be the worst part well im on my spring break and stuff right and i have been staying up late and than sleeping in till late and it was fun for a while now i just want my normal rutine i dont no how tennillle dose this all the time but none the less i had to wake up at 9 this moring and i dident fall asleep till 3:30 so durning those hours when i was lying in my bed trying to sleep but couldent and was dieing for lauren who was sleeping next to me to wake up so texted tennille i thought she would be awake well she was but looks like i was the one that was preventing her from her sleep so i felt bad and she told me to read but the problem was that there was no light to read so that was out of the ? so i just layed there until i fianly fell asleep and which that night dident help my sleeping at all but since i woke up so early to go shopping i hope i will be tired tonight!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!<33

kk so its my birthday and i have been 14 for a hour and a half its 1:35 [i cant sleep]
so my birthdays arent realy i thing i look forward to i hate them lol to be truthfull cause
1.the day of my grampa funarle
2.all my family crap happens around my brithday
3.i cant rememder the last birthday my dad was at

so ya you could say its not my favorote day but this year im realy happy adout me birthday because im going to vancover today anyway with my bestfriend my brother there sister aunty leanne and len lol i love that family and i cant wait to go. me and lauren have been on a road trip together before when we like first met and it was so fun and i bet its going to be better now that we are bestfirends i cant wait

another thing that i cant wait for is my suprise lauren and arryn have been makeing a suprise for me ever since i was going to move but than dident and they said i could have it ladt sunday but it wasent done but lauren finaly took over and finished it and the worst part is that every one nose but me and i hate when that happens but i cant wait to see what it is!!!!

but ya thats how my birthday is going but i should get some sleep lots to do tomorow i will put pics up of my suprise when i get back from vancover <33333

Random<3333

birthday party!!!

omg i had the best birthday ever i love it!! my aunty tried to throw me a suprise b-day party at ruckers but the suprise dident work out i just have to many firends that cant keep secrets lol well it was so fun and evern though not alot of people came it was good i love it!!

how much longe can i stay

Where are you i feel so lost and alone and i want you to be there?she says i need to let you in but im scared i dont want to let you down or hurt you im sorry and i am trying but i just dont understand why? i felt there when i needed you the most and now i am lost and i need you i need you to help me find my self and this time i give my life to you